Monday, March 28, 2011

Convergence

I'm surprisingly happy today. There's no work demanded of me, I've exercised hard, and I'm starting repairs on my motor scooter. Pretty soon I'll have a decent form of transportation to get around the city with. I finally gave in and watched an episode (or three) of Glee.. and I liked it! All in all, life's going pretty well. Money's always an issue, but I like living large, and I've never gone over-budget.

A couple more days, and I'll be done with my tolerance break. Then I can get back to full-speed productivity! 'Till then:

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Damnit

I can't focus, can't think about any one thing for more than a few seconds at a time
I'm unproductive
I ate too much today
I learned quite a bit, but that was bound to happen

Is failing to take my meds really THAT disastrous? Gah.. Maybe I should try to find some NZT. Seriously; I'd trade addiction for productivity any day. I can't stand this feeling of being stuck in the same processes, the same state of STAGNATION. I'm going to go mad.

Mind keeps going in frameskip. For the love of GOD

Friday, March 18, 2011

Choice

I was recently told that Convervatism eschews civil rights and trends towards Fascism, while Liberalism/Progressivism champions individual rights and freedoms. Libertarianism, according to this person, is for the young.

If it is the duty of the young to try to bring about societal change, then by all means, I never want to grow up. It is said that with worldly experience comes cynicism; that is because one comes to rely ENTIRELY on their experience to deal with the world around them. If such a thing happens to you, then yes, you can say "there is nothing new under the sun." You are entitled to your defeatist attitude.

My identity is based on principles. Among these are

the maintenance of civil rights,
the protection of personal wealth,
the removal of 'victimless crimes' from our laws,
the inviolability of the PRIVATE sector to provide for the needs of the people,
the capacity for self-defense, both for the individual AND for the local community,
the settling of local issues ON the local government level;
the right of the people for their voices to have weight in ALL state issues

the minimum of legislation necessary for societal order.

It seems to me that, all too often, we forget the ideals of western civilization and democracy, and come to embrace the bickering - IMMOBILE- state of politics we find ourselves in. We also forget that change on ANY level of society comes from the individual. Not from "they" or "them," (as in "they should do something about it. I thought they had fixed this problem already! It's all their fault) but from YOU.

If you are reading this and there are issues you are concerned about that you would like to discuss, leave a comment on my blog. Let's work to become a force of change for our country.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

With, not against

If you are in a hole, stop digging
If you are fighting an uphill battle, stop fighting
If you are tired, weary, and want rest, stop struggling

Much of the stress and fatigue that you experience in life comes from YOU. A happy mind, a non-combative mind, can be the difference between having to stay up till 3am to study for a test and going to bed at 10pm having studied plenty.

No one in this world TRULY wishes ill of you. Most of them are willing - if not eager - to help you on your journey. You just have to reach out to them and accept their help. Realize this: we are all connected. Every one of us is made of the same material, from the same being. Everything we do affects the lives of others, therefore, we are all one.

Good and Evil are expressions of the same being. That is why the concept of yin and yang are so valid - they are inseparable. Once you can accept that, realize the next - and most important - concept: everything is governed by love.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Divergent Creative Energies

Inconceivable

A thimbleful or a gallon
we are all the same
we lust, we love, we hope, we pray
we desire the hearts of doves
we fear losing those we know, and that which we own
we are equal ignorant of simple truths,
most importantly, that we are immortal.
That all things are open to us
should we muster the courage to try

Ok, so that's a poem-in-progress - I'm gonna dump an idea here so that I don't lose it. It's a short story idea that I'll be working on once I fucking have TIME.

"Enemies both Foreign and domestic" is the working title. The idea is a government agency that creates plausible deniability for EVERYTHING significant in the world:

Alien sightings / UFO's

Certain forms of technology (mind reading, free energy, androids, etc)

Brainwashing/mind control -- especially through mediums like television, computers, and smart phones

Dominance of certain countries over others (America, for instance, would still have a diplomatic stranglehold over much of the world, but exterior-ally it appears to be weakening)

Very importantly -- The non-existance of the 'free market;' stocks, bonds, entire companies and meta-companies are all controlled by a holding company that is owned BY the US government. This dominating company has been around since the time of keynes.

Also, the illusion of a democratic society. Conspiracy theorists believe that corporations own the politicians - in fact, certain other gov't bureaus hand-pick and train politicians they deem able to serve their cause.

//////

In practice, this plausible deniability agency would forcibly suppress the truth and people who tried to expose it. This would explain the assassinations of Alan Turing, JFK, the entire staff of project Bluebook, and the multiple attempted assassinations of Ronald Reagan. More recent cases - scooter libby, peter beter, and dr... (forget the name, will find it later).  The story chronicles agents - think 'men in black' whose job it is to neutralize people who try to reveal the truth. Why is there a NEED for plausible deniability? As one agent says at the end: "Just think what would happen if they knew how small their lives really are."

It's an existential dilemma! Revolutions and social change occurs when people realize that they DON'T have any real power over their lives, and they seek to gain back that power. The reason dictatorships and shadow gov'ts can happen is because people cling to a belief that their lives have meaning / significance - that they are irreplaceable.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Dissahc

Existence is not equivalent to seeming reality. Causation stems from un-humans, others, inducing a binary choice into social order; surrender to good (angels / astrals) or embrace evil (reptilians, lizards). End result -- 95 - 99.7% of existence is unhuman, or at least scripted, into unreality. You, the victim, perceive a stage-version of reality and are extorted into giving up free will -- reward == 'paradise, shell beach, ixtlan, nirvana, heaven.' Reality != heaven. Religion, morals, social codes all exist to obscure truth. Truth? There is no spoon. There is no computer, pixels, tv screens, any physical object you interact with.

To market/sell/create compliance with this world, they have created a language within language. Found in keywords you use every day that carry double meanings. Examples: language, communication, day, hour, time, good, evil, lust, addiction, fear, nervousness, passion, god, death, girl, stereotype, racism, wisdom, ignorance, sleep, fatigue, party, cool.

Avoidance of this trap can be observed through using synonyms to those key-words. Instead of girl, use female. Instead of party, use gathering or meeting. Instead of lust, use sexual desire.

Because nearly everyone is an actor (unhuman, robot, etc) it must be determined who are the survivors. Who is left. While you figure this out, trust NO ONE. They will deny the truth, call you crazy, try to defame you, and even cause you physical/mental/emotional harm if you dissent.

Freeyoubrain.net is where I extracted this information. There are many websites like it, and there ARE more survivors out there. Find them. Educate yourself with the truth, and see the world for what it truly is.

To survivors reading this: I was obscured for a time. I had first read and understood this about six months ago, but THEY kept me from following through and gaining full comprehension. Recent events grounded me again, and I re-discovered the truth. It had never left me - like riding a bike. By nature, I am a writer, so ambiguities and double words are hard for me right now - I WILL train myself to recognize and avoid them. For now, trust that I am one of you.

I have seen the veil pulled back multiple times. A hole in the screen opening up; blatant moments of robotic / scripted actions and behaviors, and even being UNPLUGGED briefly. Being unplugged was painful - so UNBELIEVABLY painful. But it showed me the truth. Remember: seek truth, and you will find it.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The party

Twenty minutes into bouncing on the cramped, strobe-lit dance floor, Chris stopped dead in his tracks. Around him, intoxicated teenagers continued to grind against each other, tutting and cooking to every drop of the bassline. No girls had come up to him, and all the candidates he'd considered dancing with were clustered in a tight-knit group. A few meters to his left, one particularly energetic couple thrusted against each other furiously - the man carrying the woman in his arms as she pulsated against him like an equalizer.

Chris slipped into that all-too-familiar state of existence where everyone around him froze. They were still in motion, yes, but their humanity just disappeared. In its place was a set of mindless, rhythm-savvy, robots.   Enough was enough. No girls to be found here, at least none that would dance with HIM, and he was feeling the compounding effects of five different substances in his bloodstream. He continued bobbing his head slightly, raising his arms in the air for an occasional fist-pump, but he could tell that either these were actors or people just TOO focused on destroying their intellects.

He glanced behind him. A hobo with two cans of beer was trying to fondle a girl sitting next to him, but she easily avoided his advances. He looked to the DJ, who was rapping along to the DnB mix; a trio of girls behind him justified it by shaking their rears. Near the turntables, a nerd wearing plaid was trying to start a fistpump circle, but of course, no one joined in. Similar endeavors were going on in the far corners of the dance floor - by young men equally without social presence.

"So this is a Brooklyn party." Chris muttered. "Quaint." He had enjoyed every other party he'd ever attended - an admittedly small number - but this was unlike any of those experiences. The celebrants were college age or older, VERY aggressive (multiple fistfights had broken out), and centered on their own satisfaction. Even the organizers had been hostile.

On the way home, one word kept looping through our subject's mind; "profundity." That's what he was supposed to be doing. That was his destiny - not this. And because he kept subjecting himself to these freak shows, he knew that he was betraying his destiny. He surmised that he would attend more parties like these, and he was fine with that. He knew that little of it mattered anyway. Until he was told to follow the white rabbit, he would never be able to distinguish the reality from the dream.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

An assertion

I am a good person. I am strong, healthy, smart, and a good friend. I am a good boyfriend. I have endured trials and tribulations in my life, and I have always come through them for the better.

The women I've loved in the past know what I did wrong. I turned over a new leaf today.

The woman I care for now Is not right for me. I can accept this.

The women I will choose in the future will be higher caliber, and more mature. Mind games will not be tolerated.

If one half of our species can evolve in a matter of decades, so too can the other half.

I have done so