Money isn’t evil, people are evil
If you have money, you have the capacity to either be good or evil
If you are broke, the same applies
If you are looking for an escape, then take it
Shape your life however you see fit
But do NOT blame your problems on the rich
You’d be surprised how similar you and they are
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Reise, Reise
Cold walls loom over me
muffled sounds come from the radiator and computer
artificial light casts a harsh glow
on the fact that I am completely, utterly, alone.
Fear. Not of the known,
not of the unknown.
But of the fate of one who is cut off from his fellow man.
Why do you avoid me?
Have I done you wrong?
No. Our lives are simply too tangential.
You must deal with your struggles, your hopes, your ambitions
While I contend with mine
Maybe someday i'll look up from my workbench, and you'll look up from yours
and we'll marvel at the beauty of what the other has created.
Until that happens,
I will press on with my existential struggle.
Truth be told, I LOVE running on this hamster wheel that is my life.
Why?
Because it distracts me from the fact that I have no one.
Be thankful for what you have.
muffled sounds come from the radiator and computer
artificial light casts a harsh glow
on the fact that I am completely, utterly, alone.
Fear. Not of the known,
not of the unknown.
But of the fate of one who is cut off from his fellow man.
Why do you avoid me?
Have I done you wrong?
No. Our lives are simply too tangential.
You must deal with your struggles, your hopes, your ambitions
While I contend with mine
Maybe someday i'll look up from my workbench, and you'll look up from yours
and we'll marvel at the beauty of what the other has created.
Until that happens,
I will press on with my existential struggle.
Truth be told, I LOVE running on this hamster wheel that is my life.
Why?
Because it distracts me from the fact that I have no one.
Be thankful for what you have.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Apologies
I am neither mature, nor wise. I allow my emotions to take precedence over reason, and as such, my relationships with others have recently been under strain. I now know why I acted as I did, and I know exactly what it takes to change those behaviors. It's surprisingly simple - requiring only a slight change of mindset.
Separation anxiety, secrecy, conditional love and commitment.A need for control and sense of dependancy on others. The mistaken belief that a relationship takes precedence over personal development. These are third-dimensional concepts and paradigms that cause us nothing but physical and psychological pain.
Total honesty and openness with others. Unconditional love, and allowing others to explore themselves. Complete trust in others, and recognizing one's own self-sufficiency and personal development. These are fourth-dimensional constants. They are what the higher beings live by on a daily basis. They are what I seek to embody,
and what - in time - I hope to impart with you all.
To everyone I have loved; past, present and future. I am growing, as are you.
Never stop growing.
http://iasos.com/metaphys/3d-4d/#top
for further reading
Separation anxiety, secrecy, conditional love and commitment.A need for control and sense of dependancy on others. The mistaken belief that a relationship takes precedence over personal development. These are third-dimensional concepts and paradigms that cause us nothing but physical and psychological pain.
Total honesty and openness with others. Unconditional love, and allowing others to explore themselves. Complete trust in others, and recognizing one's own self-sufficiency and personal development. These are fourth-dimensional constants. They are what the higher beings live by on a daily basis. They are what I seek to embody,
and what - in time - I hope to impart with you all.
To everyone I have loved; past, present and future. I am growing, as are you.
Never stop growing.
http://iasos.com/metaphys/3d-4d/#top
for further reading
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Oneness
I looked, for years, for ways with which I could meld myself with the universe. With everyone around me - both nearby and far away. I sought it in individual people, and I sought it in groups of people. I sought it in music and I sought it in physical activity. I sought it in video games, and - shamefully - I have sought it in mind-altering drugs.
Then, out of nowhere, I found it. It doesn't come from WHAT you do; it comes from who you're with and what you're doing with them. Oneness isn't the same thing as happiness - oneness is the serenity to accept yourself for who you are, and to accept others for who THEY are.
I found oneness in the strobe-lit center of a mosh pit. Giant, muscled men pushing and shoving each other - with me doing the same - to the rhythm of the music being played onstage. The frontman and musicians looking on in approval. The cameraderie and the willingness to stop all hostilities when someone actually gets hurt, to help them up and make sure that they're okay. The keen sense of brotherhood that is felt after the concert, looking at the people you were shoving just minutes ago, and grinning at them wearily as they grin right back at you.
How about that? I found Zen in a mosh pit.
Then, out of nowhere, I found it. It doesn't come from WHAT you do; it comes from who you're with and what you're doing with them. Oneness isn't the same thing as happiness - oneness is the serenity to accept yourself for who you are, and to accept others for who THEY are.
I found oneness in the strobe-lit center of a mosh pit. Giant, muscled men pushing and shoving each other - with me doing the same - to the rhythm of the music being played onstage. The frontman and musicians looking on in approval. The cameraderie and the willingness to stop all hostilities when someone actually gets hurt, to help them up and make sure that they're okay. The keen sense of brotherhood that is felt after the concert, looking at the people you were shoving just minutes ago, and grinning at them wearily as they grin right back at you.
How about that? I found Zen in a mosh pit.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ever have that feeling where you want to smack your past self? I've felt that way almost every day, recently.
I run, not because I want anyone to be impressed by it, but because it feels good to exercise and to test my limits.
When I write stories, I write to see examine my mind and to try to expand my view of the world.
When I learn (and this has been a hard-earned lesson for me), I do what I can to apply that knowledge to my life. I don't try to impress people with it. Cryptology, biochemistry, neuroscience and psychology - those things interest me. Business interests me.
I wanted to become a doctor at one point, because I knew that I wanted to save lives, that i'd enjoy it and be good at it. I also knew that I was good at business, and that through a career that could blend business and medicine, I could save even MORE lives while still enjoying what I did.
When I earn money, be it via manual labor or intellectual effort, I don't hoard it. I don't show it off. I use it to further my interests - like traveling and technology. I don't even like it - it's just a tool, a means to an end, like everything else in this world.
I give speeches to large groups of people; not because I like the sound of my voice (I don't), but because I truly care about the issues i'm discussing, and because I want to motivate people.
My motivation is not misplaced. Everything I do of my own free will is done because I enjoy it, and because I want to get better at it. It's true - If I were pushing myself to do all of this out of spite for someone, I would be completely misplaced and lacking a solid sense of self. The thing is, though, I DO have a sense of self. And for the most part, I'm comfortable with who I am now.
What i'm not comfortable with is that I take things too personally, and that I get too angry too fast. I'm not proud of my temper. In middle school and early high school it had its purpose, but even then I could have dealt with things a lot more maturely than I did.
It's done me more harm than good, to be honest.
Maybe if someone were to sum it all up, I think i've DONE more harm than good to other people in my life. The thought of that scares me more than anything else. What if. What can be done about it? It's not like there's a reset button, or respawn option (well... there is, but it's considered cheating and cowardly).
I guess changing oneself, like learning to run, takes steady but consistent effort for it to work out.
What can I do tomorrow to be good to other people?
When I write stories, I write to see examine my mind and to try to expand my view of the world.
When I learn (and this has been a hard-earned lesson for me), I do what I can to apply that knowledge to my life. I don't try to impress people with it. Cryptology, biochemistry, neuroscience and psychology - those things interest me. Business interests me.
I wanted to become a doctor at one point, because I knew that I wanted to save lives, that i'd enjoy it and be good at it. I also knew that I was good at business, and that through a career that could blend business and medicine, I could save even MORE lives while still enjoying what I did.
When I earn money, be it via manual labor or intellectual effort, I don't hoard it. I don't show it off. I use it to further my interests - like traveling and technology. I don't even like it - it's just a tool, a means to an end, like everything else in this world.
I give speeches to large groups of people; not because I like the sound of my voice (I don't), but because I truly care about the issues i'm discussing, and because I want to motivate people.
My motivation is not misplaced. Everything I do of my own free will is done because I enjoy it, and because I want to get better at it. It's true - If I were pushing myself to do all of this out of spite for someone, I would be completely misplaced and lacking a solid sense of self. The thing is, though, I DO have a sense of self. And for the most part, I'm comfortable with who I am now.
What i'm not comfortable with is that I take things too personally, and that I get too angry too fast. I'm not proud of my temper. In middle school and early high school it had its purpose, but even then I could have dealt with things a lot more maturely than I did.
It's done me more harm than good, to be honest.
Maybe if someone were to sum it all up, I think i've DONE more harm than good to other people in my life. The thought of that scares me more than anything else. What if. What can be done about it? It's not like there's a reset button, or respawn option (well... there is, but it's considered cheating and cowardly).
I guess changing oneself, like learning to run, takes steady but consistent effort for it to work out.
What can I do tomorrow to be good to other people?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Occam's razor
I have the self-respect to choose friends who are emotionally healthy for me.
When you and I interact, in person and online, you try to gain the upper hand and act superior to me. This is what makes me angry and reactive - I want to be treated like an equal; no more, no less. Jokes and levity are always welcome, but I cannot stand to be put down by my peers.
When you and I interact, in person and online, you try to gain the upper hand and act superior to me. This is what makes me angry and reactive - I want to be treated like an equal; no more, no less. Jokes and levity are always welcome, but I cannot stand to be put down by my peers.
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