What to do

Something has come up in recent months, where I find myself in the position of liking many, many people I meet for the first time, and wanting to be friends with them, but it's never just friends. If they're good-looking, or kind, or if they stand out to me in a certain way - I fall for them. Not obsessively, not possessively, but in a way where I find myself talking to them constantly throughout the day. Where whenever we hang out, it feels like we've known each other for lifetimes, and we'll swear that this is something truly special.

It is. And these connections are strong ones at that, so I feel. It's likely that they will last a long time, given the chance to grow. 

So what's the problem? The problem is, many of these same people want to be in a relationship with me. It's like some magnetic force I have that I can't really turn off or on at will. it just happens. 

I'm not saying I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them. Quite the opposite - I wish I could clone myself so that I could be with all of them. I wish I could say I'm attached to all of them, because in my mind, I am, and in equal measures for everyone involved.

So what can I do? I can't exactly say "Sorry, i'm not ready to commit" because that would be shallow and hurtful. That's not even what i'm trying to say: I WANT to say: "Can we see where this goes without being exclusive?" 

This is the difference between the two messages: I DO want to commit. To all of them. So if there was any way I could do that, to tell them how I feel - what my intentions are - I would.

What to do... what to do? I love all of them. 

I love all of you