On Videogames

Over the last several months, I've been playing videogames too often. They're fun as an occasional break from school, from work, but when it becomes the focal point of your life, you know it's a problem. I wouldn't call it an addiction, per se, but it might as well be. I've experienced addiction before, and I know the signs. I can't just say 'I'll only play for a few minutes' and then go through with it. More often than not, I end up playing for the majority of a day, then get angry with myself for wasting time.

I attend one of the most expensive universities in the country. My mother is paying for my tuition out of pocket, and neither she nor I can afford to waste that investment. If I put as much time and energy into my schoolwork as I did these strategy games, I'd be at the top of my class. I'd write essays that could become part of the American canon, and conduct ground-breaking research in cognitive science.

So for my readers out there, as much as for myself, I'm swearing off of video-games this semester. I'll uninstall my steam account, and wipe every game I've installed on my computer. And I'll hold myself accountable; If I slip up, I'll tell you. Because whether or not you respond, I will be ashamed.

I mean, hey; people die every year from too much gaming. Do I wanna end up like that? 

Juncture Point

The AP is over - I can breathe again. I can sleep again. I don't have to stress about tomorrow as much. I can go for a run and do well because I'm able to take care of my body.

Maybe I can't breathe as well as I want to, though. Maybe I've been trying to take the easy way out of a problem that I've had for about a year now, and It's just now starting to catch up to me. Maybe It's affecting the two activities I do best; singing and running. Yes, I've taken the easy road. Yes, you have a right to be ashamed of me for it; I'm ashamed of myself, frankly. Especially since I've told myself I'd stop lots of times in the past.

Now i'm facing the reality of it, with concert chorale grades and endurance going down the tubes. Does that mean i'm giving up? No. Does it mean I need to stop here and now? YES. I can't do it alone, that's for sure.

I have disappointed too many.

I have one question for those reading this post today; am I good for you? When you talk to me and hang around me, do I make you happier and better as a person? Or do I ask too much of you and take you for granted? Am I too demanding? I'm starting to feel that way, and I'd like to know if it's the truth. If it is, then I need to improve on it starting here and now.

To the person who made the sun rise this morning; I'll never forget that experience in the park. Hope you had as much fun as I did ^^.