Promise

I was up late last nite - nothing new. What's new is that I've got my idea down for the short story; it's going to be GREAT! No spoilers here, oh no, but I can say with confidence that this'll be the best piece of lit i've yet written. Need more time to finish it, though. Always need more time. I talked with that actress lady who drinks at night and talks about new age philosophy - she loved the story idea and offered me a summer job working as a movie extra. Love the idea; get money and act at the same time, only working once a week or so, able to keep up with friends and the probably museum internship. Upenn's still in my reach!
The actress also told me something I believe wholeheartedly; today (friday) is going to be the best day of my life so far, because i'm so excited about this story and all the creative energy that goes with it. I say; fuck yeah! Could use a happy Friday for once.

Today was a short school day, with only 7 class periods in a row to attend. I clocked in full of stimulants and epinephrine; clocked out exhausted and depleted. It was that DBQ in history, that pointless test-grade essay that you’d had little time to prepare for the evening previous. I love school, I love history, but by GOD I do not love the AP process. That essay was the most stressful part of the day; had to finish it in the library which was full of 8th graders. My heart rate went down, my headache went away, after she came by. She came up behind me quietly, scratched the back of my head, and I put my head on her shoulder. She hugged me to her - pure comfort only people like her can give. It didn’t last long, but it was enough to make me finish strong; best essay I’ve written in that class for awhile. * dramatic sigh * women…

So I left school a little sad, since everyone left for their weekend warriordome. I slept for a few hours, gathering and storing that sacred energy until it was time to go to dinner. She texted me, he texted me, they texted me. The substitute teacher said that I was too popular to take tests in the library - I wasn’t complaining. Reading lit from creative writing, I realized that ‘la Pleiades’ is not dead. There are stars still born that produce great works, and I know three of them personally; Kawano, Bri, and Mello. They put my lit to shame. Even so, the only thing for it is to get better, to enjoy reading and writing, and to say what I feel. I’ve shaved consistently yesterday morning and this morning. Feel fresh and world-worthy again - I just want to put this energy to good use. So much energy.

Read more of ‘Jazz’ by Toni Morrison. She turns 20’s era music into one massive, phallic beast that permeates the streets of Manhattan; detailing those who embrace promiscuity and those who avoid it. She effortlessly describes the hopeless sexual repression of teenagers, though in this case, a girl. Her mother dresses her most severely - thick black stockings, awkward platform shoes that cover the ankles, long skirts hiding everything, and hornrimmed glasses coupled with cornrow braids intended to completely de-sexualize her. Doesn’t work; she lies awake at night from the age of 16 onward longing to enter those nighclubs, to dance to that same music, and to completely lose herself to it. I can see why Morrison won the nobel lit prize for it - it’s so accurately human.. So accurate… painfully accurate. No time to dwell on it - my opus needs attention.