Float on

I got on the wrong bus for a cross country meet - missed an AP psych class because I got the wrong time.

Took the subway to where the meet would happen and sprinted off the platform down the stairs hopping a fence and dropping my backpack so I could go faster. Didn't know where the group was - oh there they are! Once the race started, I ran my hardest but I got lost trying to figure out where the finish line was.

Once the meet was over, I go back for my bag but it's missing I can't believe it it's stolen i'm ANGRY! Bus leaves, coach follows me, tells me there's nothing I can do about it. Bag is lost and gone forever.

Felt numb for about 5 seconds then took a deep breath and relaxed because it's not about the stuff I had in there, no, all of it was replaceable even my ten dollar phone i forgot to charge this morning and is dead so i couldn't use it to locate the backpack with mom's GPS thing i'm still creeped out about. that's okay. my wallet wasn't in there my keys and books and folders were but i bought replacements for or found substitutes for everything there.

nothing of value was lost as dee's father could attest to. you can lose literally everything you own and come out okay because you came into the world without anything and you'll leave the same way. I've had stuff stolen before and that was okay you just have to roll with the punches.

Finished all the homework i had to do tonight. there's a test on thursday and an essay I can't do right now because the reading was stolen but that's okay. We'll all float on, ALL RIGHT! Don't you worry, we'll all float on, ALL RIGHT!

If you wanna get somewhere in life, it doesn't matter what happens along the way. that's all irrelevent or anecdotal at best. Enjoy the good and shrug off the bad you'll get fewer anxiety issues panic attacks that way.

love you guys and hope you like this stream of consciousness style I'm trying out. John Updike did it in 'Rabbit, Run' which I read for summer reading and it was really good and seemed to let people see things from INSIDE the main character's head. I wanna show you guys what its like to be in my head not that it's particularly interesting or anything haha but if you're curious then go ahead and take a look because i'd be thrilled if you did!