Ever have that feeling where you want to smack your past self? I've felt that way almost every day, recently.

I run, not because I want anyone to be impressed by it, but because it feels good to exercise and to test my limits.

When I write stories, I write to see examine my mind and to try to expand my view of the world.

When I learn (and this has been a hard-earned lesson for me), I do what I can to apply that knowledge to my life. I don't try to impress people with it. Cryptology, biochemistry, neuroscience and psychology - those things interest me. Business interests me.
     I wanted to become a doctor at one point, because I knew that I wanted to save lives, that i'd enjoy it and be   good at it. I also knew that I was good at business, and that through a career that could blend business and medicine, I could save even MORE lives while still enjoying what I did.

When I earn money, be it via manual labor or intellectual effort, I don't hoard it. I don't show it off. I use it to further my interests - like traveling and technology. I don't even like it - it's just a tool, a means to an end, like everything else in this world.

I give speeches to large groups of people; not because I like the sound of my voice (I don't), but because I truly care about the issues i'm discussing, and because I want to motivate people.

My motivation is not misplaced. Everything I do of my own free will is done because I enjoy it, and because I want to get better at it. It's true - If I were pushing myself to do all of this out of spite for someone, I would be completely misplaced and lacking a solid sense of self. The thing is, though, I DO have a sense of self. And for the most part, I'm comfortable with who I am now.

What i'm not comfortable with is that I take things too personally, and that I get too angry too fast. I'm not proud of my temper. In middle school and early high school it had its purpose, but even then I could have dealt with things a lot more maturely than I did.

It's done me more harm than good, to be honest.

Maybe if someone were to sum it all up, I think i've DONE more harm than good to other people in my life. The thought of that scares me more than anything else. What if. What can be done about it? It's not like there's a reset button, or respawn option (well... there is, but it's considered cheating and cowardly).

I guess changing oneself, like learning to run, takes steady but consistent effort for it to work out.
What can I do tomorrow to be good to other people?