That figures

There's a recent kiss or three still lingering in the memory part of my brain. Though the experience was interrupted, it's still pleasant to think about.

Got myself pumped for the big one. 7:30 minute/miles, about 3 and half minutes slower than my previous best. I know exactly what I did wrong this time, and it doesn't bother me now, but I might as well spell it out so I don't forget;

1. Still dealing with the quitting process. Haven't lit up since Monday night, but my lungs aren't all the way back to normal. That's fine; just keep pressing on.

2. Motivation. Didn't have good headphones for my ipod, and I had to stop around mile 4 because I couldn't get worked up enough to pull a fast finish.

3. Didn't sleep as much as I should've the previous night.

All of these are easily addressed. Minor setbacks, nothing more; mum was kind enough to buy good-quality headphones for me as soon's I came back from the race =) been headbanging to Amon Amarth and Eminem since.

I've never felt this resolved to quit for good. I always told myself in the past; this's it. As soon as exams are over, you're done. If god's playing chess with the world, i'm definitely a pawn: there was an unlit, unused, camel cigarette in perfect condition being offered to me by a total stranger while I was walking through central park today.

Did I want to say yes? Very much so. Did I accept? Hell no. Did it hurt to refuse this gift? Hell yes. That's the price i'm going to pay if I'm going to succeed in life. It's the better man who can say no to his vices.

It's David's birthday; mum's boyfriend. Was great to talk to him and get some advice from a wall-street type with that much life experience (guy's 54 today). He even showed me a spot I could urbex; the new MTA tunnel they're boring by 92nd on the east side. Oh, but wait. He suggested I don't urbex there while giving mom this meaningful look he's good at. So he knows what happened? To say i'm a little miffed at how freely my mom gives away personal info is an understatement. Even so, he's a nice guy.

Started the job search for this summer. Feels good to join the professional world, even if this is only a hesitant step one. I'm not worried about actually landing a job; what would I do with that much money anyway? Never really had that kind of freedom before, so I couldn't tell ya.